Not quite Christmas

I hate complaining, and yet I do it all the time…especially when it’s hot. I think sometimes I mistake “verbal processing” and complaining…because for some reason, to call it “verbal processing” doesn’t seem quite as abrasive and negative. I see it as more along the lines of stating the obvious with an occasional “ugh” somewhere in there…

So….I don’t wanna complain, but….


It is hot outside and when it’s hot in Taiwan, you basically just have to let go of ever feeling “put together” and approachable. There is no glistening here, there is only dripping. There is nothing quite like having a conversation with someone while trying to keep the sweat from dripping off of your forehead and burning your eyeballs, and there is nothing quite like wiping your sweat stash every 5 seconds…and there is definitely nothing quite like avoiding eye contact in attempts to not totally gross out the person you are talking too. Pit stains, mascara running and lots and lots of tissues, are the gifts that just keep on giving here in the summertime.

Suffice it to say,  When it’s hot in Taiwan you only have a few options:

1. Go somewhere that has AC

Actually, I think that’s about it. So here I sit, in a coffee shop with AC.  When I first sat down to write, I immediately put my headphones on to kind of get in the “I want to write” mood. I listened to a song that’s been in my head for a few days called “Christ is Risen” by Matt Maher and just began meditating on the past few weeks of life. In my last blog, I wrote about comparison and since then, I’ve been really encouraged by what God has been doing in my heart. I feel like He has  continued to work in the areas of my heart that I try to keep hidden. It has been a great couple of weeks and I’ve been both busy and refreshed..simultaneously actually (didn’t know that was possible)

As I was internally processing the past few weeks, I didn’t realize that my itunes was on shuffle and so after “Christ is Risen” played, the next song abruptly made its entrance into my cheap little headphones, shocking both my eardrums and my internal processing rant.

What was the song? “Here Comes Santa Clause”….


Now, let me just say…anyone who knows me knows that I absolutely LOVE Christmas. I have very fond memories of performing family Christmas plays with my older brother on Christmas Eve when we were little, and those memories have very much inspired and sustained my love for Christmas into adulthood. I’m serious. I am the one who lights Christmas candles in the summer, watches Elf in August,  and starts planning Christmas parties in September. I start looking for the perfect gifts for people in July and look to see if any trailers are out for Christmas movies…all the time, basically.

I love Christmas. I agree, the commercialization of Christmas has definitely gone overboard, BUT in my heart I am still the 7-year-old who gets giddy about Christmas commercials, live nativity scenes and Gingerbread houses.

Today however, when “Here Comes Santa Clause” rang in my ears, I felt…indifferent. (This is the part when my family and friends would say something like “WHO ARE YOU RIGHT NOW?”) I know….strange. But what is even more strange is the feeling of prematureness. I’ve never felt that it is too early to do anything Christmas related, ever.

The thing that I kept thinking this time was something along the lines of  “This just kind of feels out of context”  Normally, an immediate smile would come beaming across my face when a Christmas song is played in July, but this time the joy was not quite as intense. Perhaps because this time around, it actually feels like the season has not yet arrived.


Blech. I don’t know what kind of feelings or thoughts you may have connected to or associated to the word “timing” but some of my feelings and thoughts are as follows: patience, annoyance, waiting, trusting, fear, questions with no immediate answer.

Regardless of all of the negative words I personally have attached to the word “timing”,  I feel like there is something very beautiful about God’s timing that when right, is like hearing Here comes Santa Clause on a beautiful snowy night. Its like listening to James Taylor’s  Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas while chatting with friends by the fireside with a mug of apple cider, or attempting to sing at the top of your lungs the song from “How The Grinch Stole Christmas” …Fah who for-aze, Dah who dor-aze… or singing Silent Night on Christmas Eve at church while raising those little white candles.

I’m pretty sure there are a lot of us who are waiting for God’s timing in some area of our lives. I don’t know what it is that some of you may be waiting for…maybe its figuring out when to sell your house or when to apply for the new job, when to pursue a new career, go on a mission trip, pursue someone or waiting to be pursued, maybe it’s that you’ve actually been waiting to get out of the season that you have been in forever, maybe its waiting for some kind of change instead of doing the same thing everyday, or maybe its waiting for your friend or family member to make the decision to follow Jesus…whatever you’re waiting for, I’m willing to bet that God’s timing is a definite factor.

As a person that loves change, spontaneity and risks, it is increasingly difficult for me to trust in God’s timing. The question for me has always been “Do I take the risk, or do I just trust in God’s timing” I feel like at times there will be a little bit of overlap with this question. There will be times when I need to risk it and trust Jesus and times where I need to wait on God’s timing and trust Jesus in the entire process. Whatever the overlap, ultimately, I feel it comes back to trusting God.

So what am I waiting for? Honestly, half the time I’m not even sure, but most of the time, it’s the same thing I am always waiting for, His direction and His guidance…and everything in between just looks like walking with Him daily and trusting in the sovereignty of God.

So, the next time you hear a Christmas song in the summer take a moment and ask yourself “God, how can I trust in your timing” …

“Sometimes I arrive just when God’s ready to have someone click the shutter.” – Ansel Adams


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