A couple of weeks ago, I talked a little bit about culture shock in THIS BLOG. I talked about the lack of motivation that sometimes comes over me and the feeling of “loss” that I can’t seem to describe eloquently…all I know is that there is a “distance” that is present. The feeling of distance is one that is difficult to explain as it involves remembering what once was, or what could be at some point. Because sometimes, you want to be somewhere else….and sometimes when you get to that “somewhere else” either in your mind of actually physically, you find that you’d rather be….somewhere else.
This give and take of emotion and longing is one that seems impossible reach “contentment” in. The more I think about this life and this feeling of “longing” to belong, the more I find myself longing for heaven. It is the place where contentment finds its home and its in the arms of Jesus. I remember a conversation I had with a friend a few years ago about contentment and she said “Anna, I think we will never truly be content until we are in Heaven with Jesus…because that is our true home”. I am brought back to this conversation as I write this blog and I wrestle with wanting to be here and yet wondering when I will truly, truly feel content.
On another note: As I was walking home from Chinese class on Friday, I felt a joy inside of me thinking about how cool it is that I get to live in Taiwan. I am thankful for moments like this…moments when I remember how incredible it is to live in Taiwan in this season of my life and how incredible it is that I get to share the gospel with people who have never heard the name of Jesus.